she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
