absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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