ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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