I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
