Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
