The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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