i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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