dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
