I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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