your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I looked at my own cervix.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
