Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
