Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
