Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
