I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
