If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
