dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
