Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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