There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
