last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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