I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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