just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
