farters have to be the big spoon...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
