Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
