So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
