All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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