like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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