wakey wakey hands off snakey
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
