Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
