So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize