I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
