a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
