quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
