this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize