Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
