everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
