she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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