now i know why i became what i already was.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
