So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
How external is "for external use only"?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
