people are starting to question the shark bite story
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
