I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
