I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
