Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
