Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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