Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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