So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
