my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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