Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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