Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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