He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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