ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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