We won't sleep together?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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