I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Oh god it's open bar.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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