we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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