he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
