I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
