I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The power of my boobs compel you
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
