Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You may now shotgun with the bride
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
