..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
