I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
