so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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