Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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