Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
