i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
