you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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