Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize