I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
What a dumb baby whore.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
