If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
