Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
